Amnesia
by phoenixtearsandfeathers
Summary: When they were together, he wanted to remember it all, but now that they're apart, he just wants to forget. "If I had amnesia, I wouldn't know how much I need you." Dramione with a teaspon of Theomione. Oneshot. Inspired by Josh Abbott Band's 'Amnesia'.


_**Amnesia – Josh Abbott Band**_

_War Heroine Dates ANOTHER Death Eater?_

He took a swig from the bottle he held, staring at the same article that he'd been looking at since breakfast. The sound of a door opening filled the silence of the flat, but Draco didn't bother to turn. There was only one other person who would be here.

His roommate, Adrian Pucey, eyed Draco and the paper in front of him, as well as the drink in his hand. "Mate..."

Draco shook his hand, not eager to hear Pucey's continuing narrative of the ways Draco could be furthering his life. "Going out."

It took him three minutes to get dressed and cast a "Scourgify" to freshen himself up before he was walking out of his apartment. Pucey was right behind him, jacket in hand. "You're not going alone."

Draco shrugged. "Sure. Join the pity party."

Apparating to the Leaky Cauldron took no time, and it wasn't long before the two were comfortable in their seats, quickly joined by Blaise and Marcus. Adrian must've called them. Draco didn't call anyone these days.

"Draco, I think the hottie at the end of the bar is giving you the eye," Blaise nudged the blond, forcing him to look up.

She was, in fact, looking right at him, and as he looked up, she wiggled her fingers in a wave with a nod to the empty seat next to her.

"Not my type," Draco said, turning his gaze from her to the door as it opened with a ruckus.

Several voices were yelling indistinguishable banter at someone in the middle of their large group. Judging by the outfits they were all wearing, the group had all just finished a game of quidditch, and a knot formed in Draco's stomach as he realized the old uniforms looked familiar.

"Nott! Nott! Nott!" The group cheered, and the aforementioned lanky, brunette pushed past the other players, obviously enjoying the spotlight.

"Please! Please!" He cried. "No autographs."

"As if anyone would bother," a female voice chimed in.

Draco froze, and he felt Blaise stiffen next to him. Oh, good. So he wasn't the only one that could remember her voice. This wasn't the first time he'd seen the two together, but so soon after the article... He must have the worst karma.

"Well, darling, you're the only one who needn't ask," Theo smiled, and Draco didn't turn but winced when the group tagging along wolf whistled, aware that the two had probably stopped their banter to kiss.

"Let's get out of here," Marcus offered.

"No."

It came from Draco. "I..." He looked around the table at the three confused faces on his best mates. "I just need to see her."

The understanding passed between the group in silence, and the boys nodded, remaining seated in solidarity. He took a breath, gazing into bottom of his already empty glass. "I'm getting a drink."

"I'll come with," Blaise offered.

Draco didn't bother to deny his aid. His friends had been like that lately, but he wasn't going to complain. He knew they were just being protective. They were all aware of the large role she had played in his life.

The two got to the bar, and Draco didn't count himself surprised when the spot they stopped at was a mere two feet from Theodore Nott. He wasn't going to say anything, just order his drinks and move on, but Theo saw it differently.

"Guys, hey!" He greeted, a slight smile on his face, as if the misery from Draco wasn't palpating the air around him. "What's up?"

"What's up?" Blaise sneered. "Really, Nott? I understand that as adults, there isn't some kind of code we are supposed to live by that states you shouldn't bang your friend's ex-girlfriend, but I thought maybe the idea might just pop into your head yourself."

Draco held back a wince at the 'bang you friend's ex-girlfriend' part of that statement and waved the bartender over.

"Woah," Theo held his hands up. "To be fair, Draco is my friend, but we haven't spoken in two years. That doesn't really qualify as a bro code situation."

"Well, that's good because if it had been, you definitely would not be any kind of _bro_ to him," Blaise scoffed.

The bartender came over and interrupted the trio. Draco ordered two Firewhiskeys. The bartender turned to Theo, and he ticked off multiple drinks on his fingers. "Three butterbeers and four firewhiskeys."

"You should order her a Gillywater," Draco said, and the two other men seemed surprised he'd decided to join the conversation.

Theo narrowed his eyes. "I think I'll take my chances."

The blond shrugged, waiting as the bartender finished Theo's order first, obviously hoping from a larger tip from the bigger table, and flicked his wand to slide the drinks over to Draco. Theo left with a tray of drinks, and the two men both grabbed one drink in each hand, heading back to the table before their path was blocked.

She must not have seen him before then because when she did, she froze, mouth ajar as the firewhiskey in her hand was filled so high it threatened to splash over the top.

Draco's eyes widened, not having expected to directly cross paths with the curly headed witch.

"Draco," she started in surprise. "I... It's... It's good to see you. I was just... switching my drink."

"Yeah, I told him Gillywater, but... " he nodded, now hurrying to take in every inch of her face. He hadn't seen her for months, only catching small glimpses when they happened on the same street on the same day. He had stared at that article for so long this morning, the picture of Hermione and Theo facing each other in front of a doorway he didn't recognize. He had tortured himself for hours, unable to figure out if she'd moved, or if they stood on Nott's doorstep. Either way, the picture did her no justice, and he attempted to memorize her face in the short seconds he was given now.

She looked behind him. "Nice to see you as well, Blaise."

"Hermione," Blaise greeted cordially. "I'd say hope you're doing well, but..."

She frowned, a look of hurt dominating her features. Draco took a step closer. "Don't."

Turning to him, her brows furrowed. "Don't what?"

"Look so sad."

She swallowed, stepping back and placing the drink in her hand on a nearby table. "I'm really sorry, but I... have to go."

"Hermione," Draco choked.

She paused in her movement to turn around, looking back at him over her shoulder.

"I was just going to say that I..." Miss you. Still love you. Think about you all the time. "... that I'm so proud of you. Congratulations on making the department. MLE. I always knew you could do it."

He heard her breath catch, another sound he missed. Her breathing. Whether it was while she read a book cuddled up next to him on the couch or as she lie sleeping beside him in bed. His whole life seemed so much quieter without her in it.

"Thank you. That means... a lot," she whispered, and he watched as her eyes filled with tears before she turned and fled the bar.

"Why can't you just tell her you love her?" Blaise asked quietly. "She still feels the same. It's obvious."

"Blaise, I told you. Dating someone like me held Hermione back. You didn't notice that almost as soon as we broke up, she got that promotion? I wasn't doing anything but dragging her down."

"So, she's got the promotion. Swoop in. Steal her back," Blaise urged, moving to stand next to him.

"Don't you think I want to see her happy? Yeah, this is hell, but she's with Nott now. If she was still hung up on me, she wouldn't be seeing another guy."

"Draco –"

"What did you say to her?"

The two turned to a red faced Nott.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't get me started," he glared at the two. "She comes up here to get a drink, and she runs into you. Then she ran out in tears. What'd you say?"

"So she wanted the Gillywater then?" Draco confirmed, face impassive.

"I'm going to kill you," he threatened.

"You'll need to go through us first," a deep voice behind Theo stated, and Draco smirked at the realization that both Adrian and Marcus had joined them.

Draco's smirk fell for a moment, and he looked back at Theo. "Wait, you're telling me that Hermione ran out of here in tears, and you came to talk to us?" He scoffed. "You don't deserve her."

He nodded to the boys, and he walked past Theo, stopping only when he replied, "Neither did you."

Draco continued walking, and the boys followed him out of the bar and to Diagon.

"Alright mates. Now that we've ended our evening on a particularly high note, I'm heading home," Marcus stated, apparating after giving the blokes a wave and Draco a firm pat on the back.

Blaise nodded in agreement, soon following suit after a quick handshake to the both of them.

Draco and Adrian continued walking the quiet streets of Diagon Alley, their footsteps the only sound at night.

"She didn't look happy," Adrian was the one to break the silence.

"What?"

"Hermione," he explained, "She didn't seem happy. Not as happy as she was with you."

"Pucey –"

"Hear me out," he interrupted. "You can forget her."

"I wish I could," Draco whispered.

"I know, mate, but you won't. It's going to kill you being around her in every other way. I hate seeing you like this. Why don't you just talk to her? Explain."

"I –"

"Think about it." Adrian sighed, fishing in his pocket, he pulled out a page that had been ripped from a newspaper. "And if it doesn't work... Well maybe this will help."

Draco looked at the advertisement Adrian had handed him, a black and white box with 'Amnesia' written across the top. "Forget what you don't want to remember," the ad read.

"It's advertised for those who have recurring nightmares or something like that, but I thought it might be helpful... But please talk to her first."

Draco studied the product on the paper in his hand, a part of him wondering if he could take something like this potion was offering. He wouldn't remember their break up, he wouldn't have to remember how he was feeling right now, and he wouldn't get that stabbing pain in his gut every time he saw her. "Okay."

Adrian nodded. "I'm going to head back to the flat. You coming?"

"Yeah. I just need to make a stop first," he said, pocketing the advertisement.

"You got it," Adrian offered him a smile. "Good luck."

The two apparated, and Draco landed on the sidewalk outside of a familiar house, fingertips running over the wards. His mouth fell open as he realized they were letting him through, and he felt his heart beat a little faster as he made his way to the front porch. He raised his hand to knock, realizing there was a light coming from the front window and the curtains were parted.

"Hermione." Draco instantly recognized that voice. Theo.

"Theo, I told you before. We only broke up a few months ago. You don't get over something like that quickly," she explained.

The two were sitting on her loveseat, a fire crackling in the hearth as the two faced each other, continuing their conversation.

"I know," Theo said, though his tone of voice stated that he may not have fully understood. "I just wish you were on the same level I am. I adore you."

"Theo..."

"I'm not looking for a pledge or anything. Just an... I'll try," he offered.

Hermione was quiet for a moment and Draco watched as Theo lifted a hand to her face, pushing her chin up to face him. "Please."

That was it. He couldn't stand to know her answer or watch the two kiss. It was too much. He apparated from his spot on the porch, not caring if they heard him.

It was late, but he apparated to the location he'd read on the advertisement recalling that the hours extended on Friday nights and weekends. He searched his pockets for it, coming up empty, but he'd stared so long when Adrian first gave it to him that he had it memorized. Walking down a side alley from Diagon, Draco mumbled the number of the place until he came to a halt in front of it.

He pushed on the door of the shop, sighing in relief when it opened, eyes scanning the empty room as potions bubbled about in different cauldrons at the front counter.

"Just a moment!" A voice called from the back, and Draco read the advertisements on the wall for the "Amnesia" potion as he waited. "Thanks for waiting! I'm Alaric Wishman."

He turned to be greeted by a younger man, obviously a recent graduate. He smiled as Draco seemed to hesitate. "I know. I'm young. To be fair, I use a lot of potions, so I'm not as young as I appear. Aaaaand this is also my mother's shop. I'm just a glorified cashier of sorts. May I help you?"

Draco turned to look at the potion on the poster next to him.

"Ah! It's caught your eye, has it? The Amnesia Potion. Brilliant, if I do say so myself. Have you been struggling with nightmares or a recent accident?"

Draco shook his head. "No..."

"Well, if I may ask...?"

"I..." Draco took a breath. "I just can't think about her anymore. It's all I do these days."

"I see. Is she... still with us?"

"Yes, of course. She's... well, she's alive. She's just not with me."

"Ah," Alaric nodded. "And you're hoping to forget her? Forget everything?"

"Yes. It's like... getting stabbed every time I see her. I don't want to remember how much I need her," he admitted, surprised he was capable of being so open with this stranger. "If I could lose my memory..."

"But if you erased all of her from you, it wouldn't just be the bad," Alaric leaned on the counter. "You would lose the good too."

"I don't understand."

"Every time you were together before all of the bad stuff happened... All of the good... every good thing you can recall about her... It would be gone as well," he explained. "You can't just erase the bad."

Draco deflated. Forgetting all of the bad had been one thing. But forgetting all of the good? He wasn't sure he had a good memory that didn't include Hermione. He wouldn't be able to remember how her pancakes tasted. He wouldn't remember how she hummed when she cleaned, mostly by hand, or how she used to look at him – so full of love. Hermione had been such a big part of his life. Every thing he came up with made the knot in his stomach tighter, and he felt a tear fall from his eye. "I just can't do it without her."

Alaric nodded. "As you wish." Grabbing a ladle, he walked to the back, returning with a clear glass filled with a ghostly gray liquid. "This is going to be the hard part. As you drink, I need you to focus on what you want to forget. Try not to focus on specific moments but an overall picture."

He handed the glass to Draco and the blond nodded obediently. "Cheers Hermione," he whispered, holding the drink before putting it to his lips.

The door of the shop opened again and the wind that came rushing in to greet Draco blew his hair back.

"Don't you dare!"

The familiarity of the voice had Draco freeze, his lips wet by the drink in his hand. He looked up quickly, and his eyes met those of a very angry Hermione.

"Hermione!"

"Don't you dare do it," her wand was out and the drink was promptly removed from his grasp before it flew into her hand.

"But I –"

"You don't get to forget. You don't deserve to live blissfully unaware!"

"Ma'am, if I may –"

"You may not!" Hermione hissed at Alaric.

"Hermione –"

"If you're so desperate to forget me, then maybe I should drink this too!" She huffed, pocketing her wand and looking at the glass in her hand. "Maybe I should forget you! I should forget how you broke up with me and said you didn't want me, and then I'll forget the way you look at me every time I see you now. Like maybe you were lying and..." She trailed off, taking a deep breath as if to control herself.

"Hermione, please," Draco stepped closer to her. "Don't drink it."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want you to forget me," he responded immediately. "And I don't want to forget you. I just can't go on remembering."

Hermione let the drink fall from her face, holding it limply in her arm. "But why? You said that you didn't want to be together. You said that –"

"I said that we would never work and that neither of us were where we wanted to be in life. I said a Malfoy couldn't date a Granger. It just didn't work out like that. I remember. Believe me. I relive that moment every day."

"Then why'd you do it? I thought you... I thought we..." She stuttered.

"Hermione," Draco moved closer to the haphazard brunette. "A Malfoy couldn't date a Granger." She winced. "But only because the world wouldn't let her date him. You worked so hard to get that promotion, and you were passed over completely twice by undeserving morons... and it was all because of me."

"Draco, you can't possibly believe –"

"They told me, Hermione," Draco confessed, something he hadn't shared with anyone. "I went up to the ministry in a rage that you'd gotten passed over again, prepared to argue your case... but I didn't have to. Shacklebolt told me that the vote was unanimous for the employee not dating someone with a dark mark."

Hermione gasped. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You would've quit!" Hermione opened her mouth to object, but Draco put a finger to her lips to quiet her. "And don't tell me you wouldn't!"

Their sudden proximity and the warmth of her lips silenced them both, but Draco wasn't done speaking. "Hermione, I am so in love with you, I was willing to do it. I was willing to give you everything you'd dreamed of, even if it meant I couldn't have you."

Hermione sighed, raising a hand to caress his jaw. "Draco, what you failed to notice is that you fall into the category of everything I've ever dreamed of."

A weight Draco was unaware he'd been carrying fell of his shoulders, and the knot in his stomach loosened. "You mean it? What about Theo?"

Hermione frowned. "He was a distraction, but he could never be you."

Draco wrapped his arms around her. "Thank Salazar. How did you find me, anyways?"

She pulled the newspaper advertisement from her pocket. "You dropped this. I knew it was you the second you apparated."

"Just seeing you and Theo –"

"Nothing happened," Hermione promised.

"Good. That would be something I would want to forget," he admitted.

"Draco Malfoy, you better remember me for the rest of your life," Hermione said sternly.

"Don't think I couldn't if I tried," he smiled, the unfamiliar action stretching the muscles on his face. And with that, he picked her up, planting a kiss on her lips that she wouldn't be able to forget.


End file.
